So in my previous post, I said I couldn't muster the will power to get out of bed. Still true a whole 10 minutes later. But do you know what? Writing about it helps and so does reading other posts about anxiety.

 It is comforting that I am not alone, and maybe not the only one who is having trouble getting out of bed today.  Sometimes I feel like I am one big panic attack. I mean... how stupid is it to be trapped by your own thoughts.  I hate it.  I want to get back on my benzos.  I just don't want to be on them everyday.  I suppose my body will let me know when I have forsaken my dependence  on the green little pill called clonazepam.  But that moment is so far away.  Time flies when your having fun right? Well I am not having fun and find myself just being more down on myself and hard. 

Its not like I had a rough childhood or have a specific reason to feel this way.  If anxiety is genetic then certainly it does run in the family but I am so frustrated.  I want to be more appreciative of what I do have.  Why is it so damn hard right now.  Does anybody have a word of wisdom about going though  a benzo withdrawl?  Is what I am feeling normal? Everything is so loud and bright it is overwhelming.
Thanks.